{"id":373,"date":"2011-04-11T13:33:27","date_gmt":"2011-04-11T20:33:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/buildersnotebook.com\/blog\/?p=373"},"modified":"2011-04-11T13:35:20","modified_gmt":"2011-04-11T20:35:20","slug":"funny-one-liners","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buildersnotebook.com\/blog\/index.php\/funny-one-liners\/","title":{"rendered":"Funny One Liners"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.<\/p>\n<p>The only reason people get lost in thought is because it&#8217;s unfamiliar territory.<\/p>\n<p>The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.<\/p>\n<p>After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, &#8220;No hablo ingles.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. <\/p>\n<p>The road to success is always under construction.<\/p>\n<p>When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep &#8212; not screaming, like the passengers in his car.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. The only reason people get lost in thought is because it&#8217;s unfamiliar territory. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[150],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buildersnotebook.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/373"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buildersnotebook.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buildersnotebook.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buildersnotebook.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buildersnotebook.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=373"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/buildersnotebook.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/373\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":375,"href":"http:\/\/buildersnotebook.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/373\/revisions\/375"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buildersnotebook.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=373"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buildersnotebook.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=373"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buildersnotebook.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=373"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}